CA.Vivekkumar Trivedi on LinkedIn: Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People: Over 325 Ready-to-Use… (2024)

Don’t let yourself be controlled by three things: people, money, or past experiences.

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Fact: Ten out of ten people die. Don't take life too seriously.

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In 1892 at Stanford University, an 18-year-old student was struggling to pay his fees. He was an orphan, and not knowing where to turn for money, he came up with a bright idea. He and a friend decided to host a musical concert on campus to raise money for their education.They reached out to the great pianist Ignacy J. Paderewski. His manager demanded a guaranteed fee of $2000 for the piano recital. A deal was struck and the boys began to work to make the concert a success.The big day arrived. But unfortunately, they had not managed to sell enough tickets. The total collection was only $1600. Disappointed, they went to Paderewski and explained their plight. They gave him the entire $1600, plus a cheque for the balance $400. They promised to honour the cheque at the soonest possible.“No,” said Paderewski. “This is not acceptable.” He tore up the cheque, returned the $1600 and told the two boys: “Here’s the $1600. Please deduct whatever expenses you have incurred. Keep the money you need for your fees. And just give me whatever is left”. The boys were surprised, and thanked him profusely.It was a small act of kindness. But it clearly marked out Paderewski as a great human being.Why should he help two people he did not even know? We all come across situations like these in our lives. And most of us only think “If I help them, what would happen to me?” The truly great people think, “If I don’t help them, what will happen to them?” They don’t do it expecting something in return. They do it because they feel it’s the right thing to do.Paderewski later went on to become the Prime Minister of Poland. He was a great leader, but unfortunately when the World War began, Poland was ravaged. There were more than 1.5 million people starving in his country, and no money to feed them. Paderewski did not know where to turn for help. He reached out to the US Food and Relief Administration for help.He heard there was a man called Herbert Hoover — who later went on to become the US President. Hoover agreed to help and quickly shipped tons of food grains to feed the starving Polish people.A calamity was averted. Paderewski was relieved.He decided to go across to meet Hoover and personally thank him. When Paderewski began to thank Hoover for his noble gesture, Hoover quickly interjected and said, “You shouldn’t be thanking me Mr. Prime Minister. You may not remember this, but several years ago, you helped two young students go through college. I was one of them.”The world is a wonderful place. What goes around comes around. Please help others to the best of your ability. In the long run you may be helping yourself. God never forgets anyone who sows a good seed in other people, never.Nothing in nature lives for itself. Rivers don't drink their own water. Trees don't eat their own fruit. Sun doesn't give heat for itself. Flowers don't spread fragrance for themselves. Living for others is the rule of nature. And therein lies the secret of living.

Here are 7 Lessons from the book "The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness" by Jonas Salzgeber:1. Focus on What You Can Control: For a moment, imagine a circle representing your life. Inside the circle are your thoughts, actions, and reactions – the things you can influence. Outside the circle are external events like weather, traffic, or other people's actions – things you can't control. Stoicism teaches you to focus your energy on the inner circle, where you can make a difference. By not wasting time and effort on uncontrollable factors, you gain a sense of agency and avoid unnecessary stress.2. Practice Amor Fati (Love of Fate): This isn't about blind acceptance of everything. It's acknowledging that some things are outside your control. Fighting against the inevitable will only cause distress. Instead, Stoicism encourages you to accept what you cannot change and focus on how you can respond. For instance, when stuck in traffic. You can't control the situation, but you can choose how you react – by getting frustrated or using the time to listen to an audiobook.3. Memento Mori (Remember You Must Die): This isn't meant to be depressing. It's a reminder of life's impermanence, urging you to prioritize what truly matters. Instead of chasing fleeting pleasures or postponing your dreams, Stoicism motivates you to live each day with intention and purpose. It's a nudge to savor experiences, build meaningful relationships, and pursue goals that align with your values.4. Stoic Practices for Daily Life: The Little Book of Stoicism introduces practical exercises to integrate Stoic principles into your routine. These include:- Morning and Evening Meditations: Taking time to reflect on your values, goals, and what you're grateful for can set a positive tone for the day or offer closure before sleep.5. Find the Good in Every Situation: Even bad situations can offer opportunities for growth. Stoicism encourages looking for the silver lining. If you lose your job, it could be a chance to explore new career options or develop new skills. By focusing on the potential positives, you maintain a more optimistic outlook and can navigate challenges more effectively.6. Live in the Present Moment: Stoicism emphasizes the importance of mindfulness. Our minds often dwell on the past or worry about the future, stealing our joy from the present moment. The book offers guidance on cultivating mindfulness through practices like meditation or focusing on your senses to experience the world around you more fully.7. Develop Emotional Resilience: Stoicism doesn't advocate for suppressing emotions. Instead, it teaches you to manage them constructively. The book offers advice for identifying your emotions, understanding their triggers, and developing healthy coping mechanisms to avoid letting emotions control your actions.

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