COLUMBUS, OHIO - A new national survey conducted by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center finds a broad majority of parents experience isolation, loneliness and burnout from the demands of parenthood, with many feeling a lack of support in fulfilling that role.
The survey of parents conducted this month found:
- About two-thirds (66%) felt the demands of parenthood sometimes or frequently feel isolating and lonely.
- About 62% feel burned out by their responsibilities as a parent.
- Nearly 2 in 5 (38%) feel they have no one to support them in their parenting role.
- Nearly 4 in 5 (79%) would value a way to connect with other parents outside of work and home.
“I work from home full time and I actually have a job where I'm on camera a lot and I'm Zoom calling people very often,” said Anne Helms, a mother of two young children in Columbus, Ohio. “However, you don't get the small talk, so you don't get the, ‘How are your children? How's it going?’ And you don't get a lot of genuine answers when you do ask, ‘How is it going?’
“There are some days where the most chit-chat or idle talk that I get is with my dog because I work alone.”
“It's pretty obvious that there is a huge difference between a virtual meeting and being in person,” said Kate Gawlik, DNP, associate clinical professor at The Ohio State University College of Nursing, a researcher on parental burnout and a mother of four young children. “You miss a lot of those small interactions that you'd have in the hallway. Just a lot more of that personal touch has been eliminated, and in many regards it's just never been infiltrated back into our society.”
“Even the places that I do try and seek out other parents, it's kind of like we're lost in the shuffle because it's at daycare drop-off or pick-up where everyone just has tunnel vision,” Helms added. “And I think it’s hard to make friends when you're feeling vulnerable.”
Gawlik pointed to the ancillary negative impacts of loneliness.
“Loneliness has been shown to affect both your physical and mental health,” Gawlik explained. “So anything from cardiovascular disease to depression, anxiety, cognitive decline, even your immune system can be affected when you're lonely. In fact, one study showed if you are in social isolation for a prolonged amount of time, it's equivalent to smoking about 15 cigarettes a day.”
In response to the realities of parental isolation, loneliness and burnout, Gawlik created a six-week parenting program that brings parents together to be vulnerable, commiserate about challenges they face and find support. It’s where Helms realized she wasn’t alone.
“I think the biggest thing is she validated that if you’re working and you have children and you're a conscientious parent, it would be wild if you weren't burned out,” Helms said. “So I felt very validated when she said, “It’s okay that you’re here.’”
Gawlik also stressed the need for self-care and the value of connection.
“To have somebody that you can relate to and that feeling of connection that somebody else is dealing with what you are dealing with can be so powerful when it comes to combating feelings of loneliness,” Gawlik said.
“I think it equips us to create better futures for our children; I think it makes us healthier,” Helms said. “I think that the ripple effect from connecting with other parents and getting support when you need it is immeasurable. It makes you a better employee. It makes you a better spouse, parent, friend. I think that it just enriches our lives … just like parenting does, but it just makes you level up.”
Gawlik recommends doing an online search for parent groups in your community, whether they are hosted at community centers or through your employer. Parents can also look for playgroups, book clubs, recreational sports leagues or initiate talking to parents about scheduling playdates with their little ones’ friends from childcare.
“Parenting can feel very lonely at times, but it will be easier if you have people around who can support you,” Gawlik said. “It can be hard to start seeking out connections because, to some degree, you will have to be vulnerable and, sometimes, it will take time and effort.
“But just take the first step.”
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Media Contact: Eileen Scahill, Wexner Medical Center Media Relations, Eileen.Scahill@osumc.edu
Media Contact: Phil Saken, College of Nursing Communications, saken.2@osu.edu
FAQs
About two-thirds, 66%, of parents said the demands of child-rearing sometimes or frequently make them feel lonely and isolated, according to a new survey by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. Researchers polled 250 parents between the ages of 30 and 49.
What does the CDC say about loneliness? ›
Social isolation and loneliness have become widespread problems in the United States, posing a serious threat to our mental and physical health. Social isolation and loneliness have been linked to increased risk for: Heart disease and stroke.
What is the solution to the loneliness epidemic? ›
Finding relief. A primary solution to loneliness and social isolation is meaningful social connection. Societal connections boost our perceptions of psychological and physical safety, worth and value and enhance feelings of belonging and contributing.
What is causing the loneliness epidemic? ›
Social media, despite having the word “social” in its name, has been a major contributor to the general decrease in live interactions and to a corresponding increase in feelings of loneliness, inadequacy and social anxiety, especially among teenagers.
Why is parenting so isolating? ›
Another reason why many parents feel alone at this time of life may be associated with the ongoing responsibility that comes with parenthood. When you become a parent, you see just how dependent your baby is on you and you are always considering their needs.
Are we in a loneliness epidemic? ›
One in 2 adults in the U.S. are living with measurable levels of loneliness – it's a broader swath of the population than the number of people with diabetes, Murthy said. “Building social connections in our life has to be a vital priority.”
What does loneliness do to the brain? ›
Lonely individuals report less interpersonal trust, act in a less trusting manner, and show decreased fMRI activity in brain regions important for emotional processes, such as the amygdala and nucleus accumbens, during an interpersonal trust game compared to a risk game [88].
Why is Gen Z so lonely? ›
According to licensed clinical social worker Lana Lipe, social media and screen time might also be a huge part of Gen Z's ongoing loneliness epidemic. The rise of passive consumption and social comparison is quickly replacing genuine interaction, which can lead to an uptick in loneliness.
Is there a treatment for loneliness? ›
If you're dealing with mental or physical health issues that isolate you or worsen feelings of loneliness, getting help for these issues can help by making it easier for you to reach out to others. If you feel lonely without really knowing why, you may find therapy helps narrow down possible causes.
What interventions decrease loneliness? ›
These include social skills training, community and support groups, befriending, and cognitive behavioural therapy.
In a new Meta-Gallup survey, 24% of people age 15 and older self-repored feeling very or fairly lonely, with young adults ages 19 to 29 having the highest rates.
What are 3 physical effects of loneliness? ›
Loneliness “can have serious mental and physical complications that worsen if ignored.” She added that, “social isolation and loneliness lead to higher risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, anxiety, depression, memory issues and even death.”
What is the number one cause of loneliness? ›
There is not one single cause of loneliness. Loneliness can often be a result of life changes or circ*mstances that include living alone, changing your living arrangements, having financial problems, or death of a loved one.
What happens to children who grow up in extreme isolation? ›
Isolated children are at risk of depression, cardiovascular problems, inflammation, low educational attainment and obesity in adulthood (Caspi et al., 2006; Danese et al., 2009; Lacey et al., 2014).
Will having a baby cure my loneliness? ›
A mini human will not replace a partner, or other adult company. Don't get me wrong, they will bring you bundles of joy, happiness and fulfilment, amongst other things, but you might still get feelings of loneliness, even with a baby to bring up. When things are going great, it's nice to have someone to share it with.
Why are so many children estranged from their parents? ›
“The norms that forced families to stick together no matter what have weakened,” Pillemer said, noting that difficult childhood experiences, value and lifestyle differences, and unmet expectations are some of the factors driving estrangement.
What loneliness does to the human body? ›
Loneliness “can have serious mental and physical complications that worsen if ignored.” She added that, “social isolation and loneliness lead to higher risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, anxiety, depression, memory issues and even death.”
What is the loneliness rate in the United States? ›
The prevalence of loneliness in the United States
As of 2022, around 21 percent of adults in the United States stated they always or often felt lonely in the past 12 months.
Did COVID-19 increase loneliness? ›
Consistent with past research [13,14], the results of the current study indicated that the COVID-19 pandemic was related to increased levels of loneliness. In other words, many participants reported feeling lonelier after the pandemic than before it.
What are the statistics on loneliness? ›
Over 60% of adults in the United States report feeling lonely. Young adults between the ages of 18 and 22 are the loneliest age group. The number of people who live alone has increased by over 30% in the last few decades. Social isolation is as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
